(If you missed yesterday's post, you might want to read it first or this one won't make much sense...)
My second rotation of “Experience the Mission” was in Pulmonology. I didn’t know much about pulmonology before this experience. I knew it had to do with lung diseases, but I had never stopped to think about how diseased lungs can alter so many other parts of your body. Dr. Nancy Dambro had a profound impact on me in a very short period of time. She is a no-nonsense physician with a wealth of experience who deals with families so compassionately and takes time to educate with each explanation she gives.
She had advised me the night before our rotation that our first consultation might be difficult and that the family might not want me to sit in as a participant. When I arrived, she was already in the middle of meeting with the family and they had agreed to let me observe. I’m not sure this was actually a good thing. Dr. Dambro and her colleagues in the Pediatric ICU were meeting with the parents of a very sick 6-month-old boy and discussing surgical options with them that would drastically alter their son and his home life for the next two years. It was an emotional conversation with pain on both sides – from the doctors who are fighting to save this boy’s life and from the parents who are scared, worried, and having to face great obstacles. The hardest part of the “Experience the Mission” program is that I don’t know – and won’t know – what ultimately happens with that little boy. I don’t know when his surgery will be or if his Dad will be able to get the day off of work to be at the hospital or how they will financially afford the home nursing care that their son will need when he is finally able to go home, months from now. What I DO know, though, is that little boy is in tremendous hands and that his doctors are in his “fight” alongside him for the long haul.
We left that family meeting in the Pediatric ICU to go to the surgical recovery area, where Dr. Dambro was paged for a consultation. I started getting the impression that the pulmonologists are really all over the hospital, all the time. They are called in for anything having to do with the lungs, which when you actually stop to think about it, is a lot! Patients coming out of surgery with reactions to anesthesia, asthma-related issues, cystic fibrosis, pulmonary hypertension, apnea, obstructed airway issues, lots more than I had ever stopped to think about. We spent time seeing patients in the Pulmonary clinic, one in particular who now weighs heavily on my mind and heart. This 14-year-old boy has cerebral palsy and severe mental retardation. He was visiting Dr. Dambro with his widowed-father to get clearance for an upcoming back surgery. What should have been a very routine appointment became a very serious consultation as advanced lung-related issues came to light. I can’t go into the details of this special patient or his family situation, but they made an impact on me that I will never forget. And the very private conversation that Dr. Dambro and I shared afterwards about ethical decisions in our society is something I will never forget.
I don’t mind admitting that I thought my pulmonology rotation would be my “easy” rotation of the day, but in fact, it turned out to be the one where my heart was impacted the most and truly altered the way I will look at several situations going forward. I held my breath more during my pulmonology rotation than I did at any other time that day…appropriate considering that Dr. Dambro would be the most qualified to revive my lungs if they gave out on me. Lesley arrived on time to pick me up for lunch, tissues in hand…thank goodness.
I don’t think I’ve ever inhaled a baked potato as quickly as I did that day. Comfort food. Exactly what I needed at that moment. Our brief lunch was a nice chance to catch-up with the other 9 ETM participants and hear the amazing things they had seen that morning. Lee proudly passed her brain and heart surgery photos around the table while we all sat there eating, and it didn’t seem to phase any of us! We were considering ourselves real “pros” now!
I was anxious and excited to start my afternoon with my friend Dr. Jeff Murray. Jeff is the reason I started fundraising for Cook Children’s. His neuro-oncology program is doing fantastic work with pediatric brain tumors. And I knew that seeing him in his environment, surrounded with his work and patients, would add more fuel to my fight to contribute to the tremendous work being done in pediatric oncology. Jeff is not only a brilliant physician, but he is also a great educator. Prior to visiting any of his patients, he spend time going through their histories with me, showing me scans of their tumors and how they had progressed through treatment. He went in-depth in his explanations of how specific treatments affected other areas of a patient’s growth and development. But, in the midst of all his medical jargon, he never missed a chance to give me personal details about each patient – about their family, their hobbies, their personalities. These are the reasons I admire Jeff so much.He KNOWS his patients so well and his interest and care for their well-being in ALL facets of their lives comes across so clearly and with such heartfelt emotion.
I was honored to be able to visit with an inspiring 14-year-old cancer survivor and his amazing mom that afternoon on the one-year anniversary of the end of his treatment. With clean scans to report, there were many happy tears in that consultation. I was so determined to NOT cry in the room with the mother and this strong young man, that I literally was biting my tongue to keep the tears from flowing. Poor Jeff….he had no idea what a basket case he was getting when he invited me in to observe! Thankfully, I held it together. And, I’m pleased to report that I didn’t even flinch when I sat alongside him for a spinal tap on a precious little girl. We had another patient consultation with a 17-year-old who has a brain tumor, but has never had brain surgery….very, very rare! And HE is a very special young man, as well, who wants to be a doctor like Jeff when he grows up. His bright, hopeful smile made a permanent mark on my heart.
My favorite part of my time spent with both Dr. Murray and Dr. Dambro were very special conversations when they shared their own human struggles and emotions that they experience when dealing with patients and their families…the “timing” of sharing information and the emotional toll of losing patients. It’s not a secret that Doctors go through their own emotions, but I felt really honored that they would both share these personal thoughts and experiences. It really meant a lot to me. The magnitude of the work they do each day in healing children is tremendous, but the emotions that they experience in the process must be sometimes unbearable. I honestly don’t know how they do what they do each day, but I am forever grateful that they allowed me to see inside their hearts and shared so freely with me.
By the time Lesley arrived to take me to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), I was really getting tired. Not physically…emotionally. I had already seen so much and experienced so many highs and lows, but one more rotation to go. Plus, I was really (really, really, really) hoping they’d let me hold a baby! It has been a while since I got to do that and there is nothing sweeter than a baby! It didn't turn out to be as simple as that, though.....
More tomorrow....
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