Hanukkah of Giving

We are fortunate to celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas in our home.  With a young child, though, it is sometimes a challenge to teach the miracles and spirit of the season with not just one - but two - holidays.  Last year, when my son was five-years-old, I really wanted to find a new way of celebrating Hanukkah so that it wouldn't seem like the "little sister" to sometimes-overwhelming Christmas.   We started a new tradition last year, Hanukkah of Giving, that I am excited to continue this year (especially since this is an overlapping holiday year)!


This post below was written last year for a parenting website that I contribute to periodically.   It is a good recap of our first Hanukkah of Giving...and it makes me smile (for those of you keeping track of my 17-47 muscles...ha!)


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Each year, we try to find ways to differentiate Hanukkah from the somewhat overwhelming nature of Christmas…a way to make Hanukkah have a special significance for Bennett.  Now that he is five-years-old, it seemed like the best time to really emphasize the importance of giving back and to have him be actively involved in the process.  

Bennett and I had a talk over dinner one night about the reasons why Lee and I feel so strongly about helping those around us, as well as the ways that we can give to others…through our time, talents, and treasure.   I asked Bennett to come up with eight ways that he could give back to his family, friends, or those less fortunate - one way for each day of Hanukkah.  And, his Hanukkah of Giving began:

Day 1 - Giving to those less fortunate:

Bennett and I worked together to clean out his closet.  We filled two bags of clothes to give to the Salvation Army and also cleaned out toys and books from the playroom (also a handy way to prepare for the onslaught of Hanukkah and Christmas toys about to arrive…ha!)   Bennett helped pack everything up for the truck that came to pick up all the items.  He was a bit sad to miss the pick-up, though, when he was at school.  Next time, we will plan to deliver the items ourselves to the warehouse or even to the Keller Community Storehouse. 

Day 2 – Giving time to a special friend:

Friendship takes time.  I am continuously reminded as an adult that being a good friend takes time - time to get to know a person; time to be there when they need you; time to nurture a friendship when miles separate you from the ease of daily interaction; and time to celebrate life’s precious moments.   And, time is a gift.  So, when Bennett first said that he wanted to “give” time to his best friend, Max, I agreed.  It also meant that I could have some much-needed time with Max’s mom, who I hadn’t seen in a couple of weeks.  Bennett shared a special Hanukkah treat with Max and his sister, Kate, and the moms enjoyed some visiting time.  In the car on the way home, though, Bennett offered some good advice all on his own, “Mom, you have to be a good friend to keep a good friend.”  Yes, Bennett, you do.  Thanks for the reminder!

Day 3 – Sharing your talent with someone special:

There are two special ladies in our lives: one who hasn’t been feeling well for quite a while, and another amazing woman who is nearing her 98th birthday.   Bennett (unlike his mother) isn’t a big telephone talker, but he can color a mean picture!   So, for Day 3, he shared his coloring talent for these two special ladies and mailed off pictures to brighten their day.   

Day 4 – Give time to your family:

My mom has to work one weekend each month when she is the manager-on-duty for the retirement “city” where she works.  This happened to be her weekend to work.  Bennett isn’t a big fan of visiting my mom’s office.  He’s a sometimes-shy child and being around lots of elderly people who want to talk to and hug on him, pushes all his buttons!  It was his idea to go and have lunch with Joycie at work and he made an effort to smile and talk to the elderly people who he saw.  (Glad to know that the “talk” we had during the 30-minute car ride was remembered once we went inside…ha!)

Day 5 - Giving to those less fortunate:

We adopted three “angels” this year for the holiday season.  Bennett selected three boys, all age five, and we headed off to Target together to shop for clothes and toys to help make their Christmas a bit brighter.  He really got into it and selected toys and clothes that he thought looked fun.  We had a couple of “can I get one for me?” and “where’s mine?” moments as would be expected from a five-year-old, but it offered up an opportunity to remind Bennett of the blessings he has in his life.   On our way to the checkout counter, Bennett asked if we could buy one more thing for each child.  “I think we should buy each boy a coat, Mom.  It gets really cold in the winter.”   I was really proud of him for doing more than the expected and coming up with that on his own. 

Day 6 – Share Hanukkah with someone new:

A few weeks ago, Bennett asked if we could plan a Hanukkah party for his friends at school and today was the day!  We picked out a special menorah to take to the class, as well as chocolate gelt and mini-dreidels for each child in the class.  Lee took some time off work to come along and tell the story of Hanukkah before we read a cute story about latkes.  We had a great time with Bennett’s classmates, who already knew quite a bit about the holiday!  We even feasted on latkes, applesauce, and doughnuts…the traditional foods of Hanukkah.  Bennett had a great time sharing this holiday with his school friends! 

Day 7 - Giving to those less fortunate:

The Salvation Army red kettles are such a simple way to give back and the funds that these kettles raise is really used in such important ways!   We visited two local red kettles so that Bennett could empty all the change from my car into one, and money from his piggy bank into another.   We also made a stop at a local store to drop-off items for Toys-For-Tots.  (A little “perk” we discovered…if you take unwrapped, new toys to Yogurtland to dropoff for Toys-For-Tots, you get a cup of free yogurt!  Bennett was ALL about that!)

Day 8 – Give time to your family:

I’m not sure if any five-year-old is excited about doing chores at home, but Bennett wanted to conclude his Hanukkah of Giving by helping cleanup the toy cabinets in our family room.  (They’ve become a bit unmanageable in the past couple of months!)  His exact words were:  “Mom, let’s clean up these cabinets.  It will make Dad really happy.”  VERY true, Bennett!   Happy Hanukkah, Lee!

Our first “Bennett’s Hanukkah of Giving” was a big success!   Each morning, he was as excited about his giving project for that day as he was about finding out which new hiding place his Elf-On-The-Shelf was in.   Exactly what I was hoping for!    We’re wrapping it up tonight by making a little scrapbook of the 8 days.  Bennett took pictures during the week so that he could remember his projects. 

The goal all along was to find a way for him to be as excited about Hanukkah as he was about Christmas.   And we succeeded!  What I didn’t expect, though, would be that teaching my child an important life lesson actually turned him into my own teacher, once again.  Through his enthusiasm and generosity, I was reminded of the simple joy of giving and how easy it really can be.  Not only do those less fortunate deserve the time and treasure that we can give, but the wonderful people in our lives each day – our family and friends – deserve our time and talents, too.  Not only at the holiday season, but throughout the year. 

Bennett’s Hanukkah of Giving will continue next year.  Can’t wait to see what his eight projects will be!