Gold & Diamond Friends

“Old friends are gold!   New friends are diamonds!   If you get a diamond, don't forget the gold....because to hold the diamond you always need a base of gold!”   A friend posted this on her Facebook this week and it reminded me of a blog that I wrote two years ago for an Ohio parenting website.  The subject was New Year’s resolutions.  Here is a portion of that article:

Resolution Number 8:   Work to be a better friend. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a good friend.  I’ll watch your kids when you need a break, or run errands for you if you’re stuck at home, or sit with you in the hospital.  These are things I would do for any friend.  When I talk about being a better friend, though, I specifically mean those friends crazy enough to be in my inner-circle. 

I’ve just gone through a move and am working hard to make new friends in my new city.  It’s easy to get so caught up in the “new” that you lose sight of the “old”.  I’ve been thinking of my inner-circle a lot lately and need to do a better job at the friendships that I’ve had for a long time. 

It’s hard to be in my inner-circle.  It’s a very small group.  I’m an extremely private person and don’t let just anyone in to know the “real” me.   Despite moving many times in the last several years, I’ve been fortunate to make friends in each city and some of those have become life-long, do-anything-for, give-you-my-kidney-if-you-need-it relationships.   But, it’s hard work to maintain friendships when you don’t live close to each other.  Yes, we have the benefits of technology, but there’s nothing like a last-minute wine date with your friend when you can dissect the day-from-hell.  I’m not willing to let go of my inner-circle and need to remember to work at them, even when we aren’t close.  The friendships are too important to me and life is too short to not surround yourself with people you care about.  I want to do a better job as a friend to the people in my inner-circle.  To remember to not take those relationships for granted and to find new ways to let those people know how important they are to me and what a difference they make in my life.  I’m trying to be more honest with them, remind them how much I love them, and remember to celebrate their everyday little moments, not just their great achievements.  They aren’t the family that I was given…they are the family that I have chosen. 

Two years later, I’m still working to be a good friend.  Friendships are one of life’s greatest blessings but they take acceptance, patience, and time -- things I always need more of!  

I’m blessed with fun people who are great lunch partners and play friends; I’m blessed with friends who I know I can call in the middle of the night; I’m blessed with friends who will be there for me on my darkest day; and I’m blessed with friends who know what that darkest day will be without me even having to say it out loud.  

I’m blessed with childhood friends; friends from 60-hour work weeks and happy hours; friends from when I was a new wife; and friends who have only known me as a Mom.   Most importantly, I’m blessed with friends who accept me just the way I am – good, bad, and crazy.   

I’m continuing to challenge myself to be a good friend back to the amazing people in my life and in my inner-circle.   I love this quote about friendship:  “We are not here to judge the people in our lives.  We are here to be a loving mirror, to show up and to support them in their growth and journey.  A person feels loved when they are seen and understood for who they are RIGHT NOW.”  (thedailylove.com)

My home is filled with photos of the friends I’ve picked up along my walk through life. I love seeing these reminders of our times together and I love knowing that I have a stash of frames always ready to add new photos to the collection. 

That makes me smile.